Wednesday, 13 March 2013

More Love; More Potential for Hurt

Sometimes it is scary to love someone else, for one broken, weak human being to love another broken weak human being.  How can I, a person who fails and makes mistakes and doubts and is prideful and is selfish, love another human being with all of those same characteristics?  The only way it is possible is because God never fails and He never makes mistakes and He never doubts and although He has the right to all glory and honour He also humbles Himself to the lowest of servants.  I will always fail and make mistakes, but because of His love I can move through those experiences and know that He carries me.

Sometimes it is scary to love someone who hates him or herself.  Loving someone truly is trusting that God will pour His perfect love through me into that other person, with the understanding that I do not have enough love on my own to love him or her with.

Loving someone, though, means opening myself up to the very real prospect of being hurt.  But hurt and pain and suffering are a part of this life and who am I to run from that when I have the greatest hope there is?  Who am I to run from hurt and leave behind the potential for love and friendship?  In my mind now, the scarier thing than opening myself up to hurt, is not.  Is it possible that apathy is the opposite of love?  Apathy is closed and deaf.  Apathy does not care.  When I know that the Creator God of the Universe cares for me how can I turn a deaf ear and not care for others. 

I have had experiences in my life that are hurtful and painful, but they cannot even compare to some of the experiences others have had.  What excuse do I have not to go out into the world to shine the Light God has set in me and proclaim the hope that He has promised?

I know that any of the horrible experiences that I have in this life will be deemed not even relevant in the slightest once I finally get my one-way ticket Home.  I desperately want to spread that hope to others.  Who am I to selfishly hide that light?  And yet I praise God that He has given me hope and has loved me and I marvel at the fact that He has found even me capable of carrying His hope.

Heavenly Father God,
May I love ferociously and never back down in the face of earthly fear when love can be communicated.
I love You.            

Sunday, 3 March 2013

Sometimes Life is the Utter Pits

Sometimes life sucks.  

Sometimes nothing goes right and everything goes wrong.

Sometimes some things do go right, but a lot of unexpected wrong comes waltzing in.  

And usually when life sucks I don't feel happy.  I don't feel excited to be alive.  I don't look forward to the new rays of sunshine bursting through my window in the morning.  And I also don't feel any happier when I read my Bible.  No matter how many times I read Psalm 23 my life is still the pits.  No matter how much I pray I still don't feel like opening my arms and embracing with gleeful enthusiasm the suckiness of life.  

Even after praying, even after reading from three different parts of the Bible for a few days in a row, even after eating all the perfect most healthy food that grows on the face of this green earth, even after spending time with a dear friend...

...sometimes life still sucks.

But I guess God isn't a pain-killer.  Reading the Bible isn't rapid-relief.  Praying isn't extra-strength hurt- alleviator.  God is bigger than simply dulling the pain of life.  The Almighty King and Creator of the Universe wants more for me than to simply pacify the symptom so I can go about my daily life with a charming smile on my face.  He did not choose that route for Himself, He did not choose to cover up the pain and hurt that the separation between us and Him created.  He knew the root cause of the pain and He was willing to heal it without popping a fast-acting pill for the awful, unimaginable symptoms of excruciating pain that He endured.  Life sucked that day for Him.  Everything went wrong, but then everything went right.  

Sometimes life really does suck and it doesn't make me feel any better or happier to hear about the suckiness of other people's lives, but it strengthens my hope in that someday life will never suck.  Someday everything will go right and nothing will go wrong. 

Until then I have faith that God has the capability and experience to deal with my sucky days and knows how to hold me when I am screaming at Him for a pain-killer.  

Jesus knows that sometimes life is the pits.